Inner conflicts and self coaching
Everyone has the ability to look at things from a positive or a negative perspective. When using a life coach you have someone that helps you reflect, encourages you, beliefs in you and helps you to belief in yourself. If you are planning on self coaching you need to take the role of the life coach yourself and fullfill the above roles which requires some training, but makes you stronger at the same time.
Everyone has an inner critic and inner coach. The inner critic looks at things from a negative perspective: 'surely it won't work', 'don't take the risk, be happy with what you have', 'you are too lazy to achieve anything', 'I am useless', 'It is too late', etc.... Your inner coach is the one that helps you reach higher levels: 'this would be an exciting challange', 'I can do this', 'with focus I can achieve more than I ever believed before', 'I can make much more use of my qualities', etc... The art is to let your inner coach shine without fully neglecting your inner critic. The added value of your inner critic is too test your plans. But it should never dominate your inner coach. You might analyze the inner critics to ensure you are on the right track. But again do not let it play a dominant role, or simply belief in it. Life coaching have proven that people are able of a lot more than they ever believed in.
An exercise to train your inner life coach
Below exercise can help you understand the value of the inner coach. You can also train to explicitely let your inner coach express itself. In your day to day life there are many inner conflicts of distinct intensity. Every week try to think of challenges or nigger events you have experienced.
-1- try to determine the inner critics you felt, all the demotivating and non progressive thoughts?
-2-
what would a life coach have told you, what would be the opposite or constructive feed back?
-3-
which one was able to dominate you and determined your behavior?
-4- were you able to improve on letting your inner coach come out?
The great value of this exercise lies in its ability to let you train balancing your positive and constructive self with your more negative and non progressive self. It is an easy excercise with strong effects if done consequently.
That eating healthy and sports are good for you should come as no surpise. The question is then why so many people still fall in negative patterns. Habits like eating fast food, candies, drinking too much alcohol, smoking and restraining from sport are many times based in a dominant inner critic. People are looking for comfort to still feel good. But the effect of all these habits is disminishes over time and makes people feel worse. The inner critic is enforced. Time for your inner coach to come out.
Once you inner life coach is able to dominate your life, things will change. Before you have reached this stage it is of vital importance to believe in yourself. Believe in your abilities, give yourself some time, keep believing and stick to your goals. Success comes from persistence and never give up because your inner critic tells you so. Only change plans in a serious life planning session with yourself. Loose comments about 'can't do' should no longer be accepted.
One problem you might encounter when starting self coaching is the reactions from your relatives and friends. Imagine your planning sessions requires changing your direction. This might have an impact on them as well. That is why you should consider them in you planning sessions. If you have a constructive approach, the change should benefit them as well. Negative reactions from jealous people can sometimes be neutralised by a constructive conversation. If not, maybe let them play a less important role in your life.
